Forget the awards and pomp and circumstance, no bragging in this post.
(because who are we kidding?? unless there is an award for craziness, we are probably not in the running anyhow)
So here it is folks, the best of 2012. A year in my life. Obviously God knows I love a good laugh. Enjoy!
I didn’t document much in January, so just enjoy the pictures.
While the conversation I heard between Isabelle and Eli on the way home would probably be concerning to many, I found it quite sweet. (and I could not tell you how this started…) E: Nobody gonna take Hen-Ben from us Sis. I punch ’em in the face and you step on their toes and then we run. K, Sis? I: Yeah! We’ll shoot ’em if they try! E: Or run over ’em with a monster truck. We could CRUSH them! I: OR!! Or we could bang them on the truck and cut their legs off like Daddy does the frogs! No one is gonna take our little Chubby Bubbie from us! E: YEAH! Thas right Sis! Soooo… at least they are working together, right? And looking out for their baby brother.
Eli: (pretending to be a cow) MOOOOOOO! (as he hops on the couch)
Me: Cows can’t jump!
Eli: Uh-huh. Cows can jump. They can jump over the moon! Just not our cows. They stay in the fence.
Eli just told his sister HE is supposed to have the remote because Daddy is at work so HE is the man of the house so he gets Daddy’s chair and the remote.
You know, they say to tell your children you love them and to tell them often. I am just not so sure it is working at our house.
Me: Isabelle, I love you! Isabelle: God loves me MORE!
Me: Eli, I love you! Eli: I love DADDY!
Me: Henry, I love you! Henry: No.*sigh*
Ha! I seem to have rubbed off on Isabelle.We are watching the original Little Rascals and she flipped out and exclaimed, “OH.MY.GOOOOOSH! They are gonna be in SOOOO much trouble! They aren’t even using carseats!”
Nice to know the brainwashing methods are working 🙂
Eli yells, “Here coooomes Shooter!” as he runs to the bathroom this morning. As he started tending to his business he informs me “That’s what I call my pee-pee Mommy, I named it Shooter.”O.M.G.Maybe girls aren’t as bad as I thought??!?
Eli has this innate ability to melt my heart, especially if he has been particularly frustrating.”Mom, you are a peanut. Like, you are peanut butter. And Daddy is jelly. Yeah. Cuz you guys go together and peanut butter and jelly go together too, right?”
Well, I have a nice new dent in the ‘ol van. No, I didn’t hit anything or anyone! It was courtesy of Eli. And his 4-wheeler. He thought it was funny til we told him the money to fix it was coming from his Monster Truck fund. Then he cried.
No, we won’t really take the money from his savings 🙂
Eli: Just boys in Daddy’s chair! Yup, just us boys! Boys drool and girls rule! Right Dad?
Dad: Noo! That’s not right!
Eli: Yup. Uh-huh. Boys drool. Wait! I know! Boys can drool AND rule! That be good idea, right?Spot on Little Man.
Here I thought the girl drama was going to do me in!I just busted Eli coloring when he was supposed to be sleeping. When I took his colors and paper away he pouted, “You ruined my life Mom! You ruined my life!” Oy.
Keith just got Eli all situated in his jammies. Before he could sit back down Eli rips off his jammie top and says,”I can’t sleep in a shirt! Then the mean guys won’t see my muscles. I don’t want them to get me in my sleep, so I can’t sleep in a shirt so the mean guys will see my muscles and get SCARED!”
As he points to his shoulder…
So the kids are pretending to be cows. Eli is particularly annoying when he does this because he headbutts. After having her fill of it Isabelle tells her daddy they need to take him to the sale barn. She is quiet for a minute, then Eli moos again.She exclaims “Or I have a better idea! Let’s butcher him!”
Not sure whether to laugh or consult a child psychologist!
Isabelle and I pull into the driveway and Eli throws open the new storm door and exclaims “Mom! Daddy put your damn door in!”
Guess it didn’t go so well…
Henry had a little piece of chocolate after finishing his lunch. Of course it got all over his hands, which he does not like. I told him to go grab a wipe and he took off. It was a few seconds later I realized I could see the wipes, but not Henry.
About that time I heard the toilet flush. I run in there and Henry has a big grin and shows me his “clean” hands. I groaned as I asked what I already knew- if he had washed his hands in the toilet…He stuck his chest out with pride and exclaimed, “YUP! YAAAAAY!” and then gave himself a round of applause.Thank goodness for naptime.
“Moooo-om! I can’t wear a braid. I will look like a DORK!”
“with a braid?”
“UGH! With THESE shorts?!?? Yes!”
Isabelle: Mom, can I stay the night with Aunt Lala?Me: I won’t be home til late so call your dad and ask him.
Isabelle: OK!!! He will say yes, it will be easier for him!
Only 5 and she’s got it figured out lol
Isabelle is all decked out in her soccer gear- shirt, shorts, socks and even shin guards.Are we headed to a game?
Nope, she hasn’t played in over a year. She just thinks it looks cool.
Eli just brought in a big zucchini from the garden and told me, “I love that one Mom! I been dreamin ’bout a ba-kini that big for a long long time!”
Isabelle: I talk a lot in my head. Even more than I talk out loud. Sometimes I tell my head to be quiet, but it doesn’t always work.
Ohhh, our first family camping trip!
Well, putting up the tent in the rain and the park ranger making us put out our fire (which we were using to cook our dinner) couldn’t ruin our first night! We knew there was an open fire ban, but it said charcoal was ok… So we used charcoal in the fire pit. Looks like we get to go buy a grill tomorrow 🙂
Not gonna complain about downpours on a camping trip in the middle of a drought. Nope, not gonna do it.Keith on the other hand, is getting the charcoal out of the rain at 2am. And he is a bit more of a grump in general. So he might.
Johnny Cash, Ring of Fire, just came on the radio. Isabelle said “oh, oh! Mom turn it up! I LOVE this song!”Take that Justin Bieber! (for the record, her current favorite song- “Boy Named Sue”)
Still the 9th:
Today’s fishing was mostly a bust. The only thing hooked was Eli’s neck. By himself.Just a poke really. After some dramatic tears he was fine.
You can read the full camping story here
Eli needs NINE minutes to pee. I HAVE to give him nine minutes. He HAS to go pee so he doesn’t pee in his bed. It’s a looong way for his pee to go from his tummy down down down all the way out. And he just drinked a whole cup of milk. It has to turn to pee still.
He needs nine minutes. Or seven.
Eli finally came up with the ultimate insult for his father today.Keith had been harassing him (once, like a year ago Keith was trying to get Eli to button up a shirt, so he told him he had to button it or all the girls would see his chest hair. Eli of course takes it a bit too serious and will not leave the house without the very top button of any collared shirt done up tightly. We have been trying to break him of it for some time and this morning had resorted to name calling… dork mainly.)
When Eli had enough he proudly retorted to his father, “Oh yeah, well you are a JOHN DEERE WORKER!” which was followed by the most maniacal laugh I have ever heard escape a child.
Eli: Mom, what is that? Is that a bra?Me: Yes, it is.
Eli: What is a bra for?
Me: To hold boobs.
Eli: Whhhhy?? Oh! So they don’t rattle right?
Pretty much little man.
Me: Eli, you are such a little brown-noser.
Eli: Yeah, I fall on it sometimes. It gets scabs.
Keith: Henry, you need to go potty?
Henry: yeah! I pee outside!
That IS preferable to the floor.
This morning: Isabelle sobbing because she doesn’t want to ride the bus… Me dragging her to the road and bribing her so I don’t have to throw her on and run. No tears over the bus til Sept 15th costs me an mp3 player to listen to on the bus. Pull up to Eli’s school and unbuckle. Second day.
“ugh! Mo-om! I can walk MYSELF in! You will membarass me! I am not a BABY!”
And before I can get Henry unbuckled Mr. Big Stuff is headed to the road where there is heavy equipment working rather than the school.
THAT would be why he gets walked in lol
Gem of the day, so far…
Eli: Mom, the sun is made of fire, right? How does it just float and stay up in the sky?
Me: Well, God put it there to keep all the people warm and give us light when He made the universe.
Eli: But Mom! There are only two people in the universe. He-Man and Voltron. Yeah. And He-Man, he is the master of the universe.
Me: What about God?
Eli: God just makes people. He puts them in Mommy’s bellies and lives in our hearts and stuff. But He-Man! He is the Master of the Universe! *waving my white flag*
2am wake up call last night. Smoke detectors? No. Sick kid? Nope (thank God). Cow out? Huh-uh.
Eli punching the bed and yelling, “Voltron is SO AGGRAVATING!!” And then he was gone.
If Keith hadn’t heard it too I would have sworn it was a dream! Especially when he was in his bed and the tv was off this morning.
The kids were having a hard time getting ready a few mornings ago, and Keith told them they wouldn’t be able to have the tv on in the morning if they didn’t shape up. Eli told Keith he would just watch tv before morning. Guess he wasn’t kidding. If only Voltron hadn’t foiled his evil plan! (I am assuming he couldn’t get Netflix to load)
We have been trying to find out if Eli is making friends at school. His response is usually along the lines of “no, I don’t need any”So this morning I took a different approach. I asked if there were any really cool kids in his class.
“Um, just me. That’s all.”
*sigh* at least he doesn’t have low self-esteem.
So Henry had a massive meltdown this morning. He didn’t want to go to Grandma’s. He wanted to cut hay! When Daddy told him that hay season was over and he would have to wait until next year he dissolved into a puddle of tears!
Me: ELI! GO.TO.BED.Eli: But I REEEEEEEEEEEEEEALLY wanna pickle! I neeeeeed a pickle. Pretty please!!
Keith: How ’bout a knuckle sandwich?
Eli: Can I get a pickle on it??
New word for the day: Freakenstein.As in “Mom, you’re so crazy! You are a FREAK! Freakenstein !! Yeah! Mom you are Freakenstein hahaha!”
Three guesses as to which kid I was dealing with…
Also the 4th:
Isabelle keeps calling Eli “Clive Davis” and he is not happy about it.???
These kids are weird.
Getting to know Henry while we drive…
Me: Henry, what is your favorite food?
Me: Lovely. What do you like to eat at McDonalds?
H: Hamberer. An gas allll!
Me: That’s all huh? What is your favorite drink?
Me: Oy. Really? So, Hen, what’s your favorite tv show?
H: MIGHTY MACHINEEEES!
Me: what is your favorite mighty machine?
Me: hmm. Who is your favorite person?
H: *blank stare*
Me: ok, who is your favorite sissy?
Your Eli for the day:
E: MOM! MOM! *crying* Mom, Isabelle needs to be in trouble!
Me: It’s between you two. Figure it out.
E: MOM! BUT MOM!! Do you know what she did?!?!
Me: Nope. Don’t want to know. You two figure it out. (the bickering has been a constant lately, I am a bit over it at this point… and this was like 6:30 this morning)
E: MOM! I HAVE TO TELL YOU! YOU HAAAAAVE TO LISTEN!
Me: Ugh, what? E: MOM, SHE GOT IN MY MIND!
Me: *raising eyebrow, intrigued*
E: She did! She got in my mind and told me I wanted pancakes, but I don’t!
Me: *rolls over and puts pillow over head*
The kids and I just went thru Taco Bell for lunch and much to our surprise, our meal had been paid for by the person in front of us! I have done this a few times, but I had never been on the receiving end. It made me cry! The guy left a note, saying that people talk about doing this on the Christian radio station he listens to (JOY FM) and he wanted to join in! Let me tell you, this had a REALLY big impact on the kids! We talked about it and showing God’s love to others, even strangers, the whole way home. Isabelle even wanted to pray for the stranger. The kids can’t wait for a chance to pay it forward themselves! So I am going to challenge all of you to find a way to do something nice, no strings attached, for someone else today, anonymously. You never know how far-reaching the effects will be!
Thank you, kind stranger 🙂
Henry just locked Eli out of the house. Eli was standing outside yelling to let him in.
Henry yelled back, “I CANT HEAR YOU!”
And totally followed it with an evil little laugh…
I have never seen Eli giggle so hard in my life.The cause?
A hot tub.
And sitting in front of the jet.
Making his shorts blow up.
We pull up to Grant’s Farm, Eli asks, “is that Grant driving the tractor??”
Your morning dose of Eli:
Totally randomly, as I was not completely awake and not talking yet…
“Mom! This (waving his as around). All of this! Yeah, it is God and Jesus’ train table!”
“yeah! We are like the little toys and they help us find the right way.”
Then he annoyed the crap out of me with ABCs (or parts of them) the rest of the drive to school.
Asking the kids about the election on the way home (had my 9yo nephew Brayden in tow). I ask who they would vote for and why:Bray: I pick Mitt Ramennoodle over Barracoli Obama because broccoli is gross. And he spent $15 trillion dollars on nothing.
Isabelle: I pick whoever you pick Mommy! Can I have a piece of candy?
Henry, raising his arms with his imaginary sword: I HAVE DA POWWWA!
Seems representative of the population at large.
I almost forgot this little gem from Eli (of course) this morning!Butt-naked, he was cleaning up his “parts” with a wipe.
“Yup. Just like cleaning a cow’s udders before ya milk ’em!”
Ah, yeah… kinda?
Isabelle: MOM!! Mom, that car just went to the red light and kept going and going and going!Eli: yeah, papa Ronnie does that!
Eli, directing his siblings to the dinner table, “Ok guys. I get the New Holland plate. Henry, you get International and Sissy you get the John Deere turd plate.” Apparently colors have alternate names in our house.
Well Eli has added to his Christmas list yet again.The REAL Bigfoot 14.
Oh and a grape-vine pruner and a mechanical grape harvester, and some grape vines to use them on plus a trailer to hold all the grapes.
As long as we make wine, I may be good with this!
Two kids down, Eli to go.I told him he is next and gets a dollar if he throws up in a bowl, trash can or toilet when he gets sick.
He asked for a bowl to carry today.
For some reason the kids are talking about what KEITH should be for Halloween. Eli says he fixes diesels so he should be Optimus Prime. Isabelle says no, he gets mad and goes crazy. He should be the Hulk!
Things you never think you will say:NO Henry! No skating in your chocolate milk!
Never a dull moment. Ever.
I LOOOOOOVE Jesus’ birthday!Oh yeah, and Jesus too!!
Eli, Christmas 2012
Merry Christmas everyone! May you all feel the love of baby Jesus on his birthday 🙂
Eli: Mom, how do cows wipe the poop off their bottoms?
Dad(thank goodness): they use their tails.
Eli: Oh. Then how do they get the poop off their tails?
Dad: When it rains.
Eli: Oh. Then they poop again and have to wait for the rain again?
Dad: pretty much.
Eli: Unless it snows, then they have to wait for it to melt off huh?
And there you have it! Consider this your (late) Christmas card!
I am looking forward to another crazy, fun-filled year! May you all be blessed beyond measure in 2013. We’ll be here to provide you with a few laughs along the way! I can only imagine what the next year will bring as Henry catches on to (and surpasses)more and more of his siblings’ antics.
***as I type this Eli is yelling at me from the toilet. To come wipe him. Because he already washed his hands once today. He REALLY doesn’t want to do it again.