The day Eli got punched in the forehead by a big kid at school.**

My precious little punk.

Before I go into the story, I need to give a disclaimer.  It seems I am always telling stories about Eli.  The kid is just so full of it, I can’t keep it all to myself.  Isabelle typically tells me to leave her alone so she can listen to music and Henry speaks this interesting but indiscernible combination of English, pig latin and maybe Mandarin?  Not sure.  Doesn’t make for great stories though.  So, in case my kids ever read this:  IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU ARE MY FAVORITE KID, HANDS DOWN!  If you are reading this with your siblings:  I LOVE YOU ALL EQUALLY, I HAVE NO FAVORITE.  Unless you are being bratty.  Then you better go vacuum or something so you can be my favorite.

Now, back to Eli.  He started preschool about a month ago.  He goes 8-11:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  He has been dyyyyyyyyying to stay for lunch, as many of the kids stay all day.  It worked out best for him to stay thru lunch yesterday, and he was stoked about it!  He was all smiles when I picked him up.  I started asking him about his day, particularly about lunch.

Eli:  There are big kids that eat there too you know!

Me:  Yup!  Cool huh?

Eli:  Yeah!  (still excited) And one of the big kids, yeah, he just (making the motions to illustrate) punched me right in the forehead!  Right here!

Me: (doubtingly) Oh reeeeeeally?

Eli:  YEAH!  Really.

Me:  A big kid just PUNCHED you in the forehead?

Eli:  (enjoying himself) Yeah!  Just right here (again illustrating in case I didn’t comprehend the first time)

Me:  Huh.  Good thing he missed your eye.  A black eye wouldn’t be very cool.  Did you tell a teacher?

Eli:  No.  He got another kid in my class too!

Me:  Wow.  So this big kid punched TWO of you in the forehead?  And no teacher saw it?

Eli:  No.  No, he didn’t punch the other kid.  He just got him.

Me:  Huh.  Sooo… did he say anything, or did he just walk up and punch you in the forehead?

Eli:  He just walked right up and *WHACK*

Me:  Hmm.  Why do you think he would do something like that??

Eli:  I dunno.  He must’ve thought I was a little punk I guess.

Well, that seems fairly probable.

For a fraction of a nanosecond, I considered turning around to go find the big kid and punch HIM in the forehead.  However, after some consideration I am thinking it is more likely that the kid was doing cheerleading moves or something equally odd and Eli tripped and fell with his forehead landing on the kid’s fist.  Or, Eli was just being a little punk.  In which case, maybe I should go high-five the big kid?  Not that it seemed to phase Eli in the least anyway.

Side note: I have never punched a kid in the forehead.  Or anywhere else.  Except when I was a kid.  I punched my cousin Ashley.  We got in a full on fist fight.  We were maybe 8?  10?  But I am pretty sure I didn’t punch her in the forehead.  That said, if a kid is taller than me, I think they should be fair game.  So look out 4th graders.

Side note to the side note: If you plan on calling DFS because I just threatened to punch any kid taller than a large midget in the forehead, at least read the rest of my blog so you have better ammo.  Because really?  If you call DFS and tell them a midget is threatening to punch the 4th grade class in the forehead I am pretty sure you will be the one getting a knock on the door, but from the folks at the state hospital.

Now I have to go re-read this entry to remember what I was talking about.  I think I know where Eli gets the attention span of a gnat.

Ok.  Eli is a little punk.  That really sums up so very much of my life.  But how I love that little punk!

Now, let’s address the asterisks in the title.

**  Eli is also a little liar.  Or, maybe the more PC term would be an “imaginative” child.

My mom drilled him about his day after I told her about the “incident” and there was no mention of it.
When I returned we were again asking him about his day.  Nothing.

So, I flat-out asked him about the big kid that punched him in the forehead.  He made the same face the DFS people made when you told them about the 4th-grader-punching midget.  He was all HUUUUUH?


I put my hands on my hips and my eyebrow raised even above where it was 10 years ago.  THEN he remembered.

“Oh, yeah.  Yeah.  He punched me.  Right in the forehead”  He was getting excited again, as Daddy and Papa Ross were now witnesses to his little tale.

So we started peppering him with questions.  What did he look like?  What color was his hair?  How tall was he?  Was his hair long or short?  What was he wearing?  He lost interest before we finished the first question.  He went back to his tractor, completely ignoring the fact we were even in the room, let alone speaking to him.

I guess I *should* talk to his teacher about it.  To make sure ELI didn’t punch a big kid in the forehead for being a little punk…


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